HBO's "Don't Divorce Me! Rules for Parents on Divorce"

Divorcing parents lose sleep agonizing over how to guide their children through the complicated emotions and life changes that come alongside divorce. While divorce is tough on kids, forty percent of American children experience the divorce of their parents and parents contemplating a split don't have to look far for guidance.

There are a wealth of resources available to co-parents (including helpful therapeutic ones), but tools that help parents understand divorce from the eyes of children themselves can be particularly helpful. As adults, we do our best to shelter children from conflict (as we should), but children should be encouraged to voice their feelings and sometimes that means they have opinions to share.

HBO's documentary "Dont Divorce Me! Kids' Rules for Parents on Divorce" interviews children of divorce between the ages of five to ten years old. These children share their tips for divorcing parents such as, "try to make sure that your kids get both parents kind of equally" and "don't use kids as a messenger".

“When thinking about divorce, a child’s perspective can often be left out of the equation,” notes executive producer Rosie O’Donnell. “This film puts these kids front and center, advocating on their behalf. DON’T DIVORCE ME! will help remind parents and children alike that at the end of the day, we must respect and listen to one another.”

You can watch "Dont Divorce Me! Kids' Rules for Parents on Divorce" and find out more HERE.

Little Children, Big Challenges: The Sesame Street Guide

Divorce is one of the most common challenges children face - 40% of American children experience the divorce of their parents. But breaking the news of a divorce to kids is tough - many of my clients seek guidance on the healthiest way to transition their children to life in two households. While parenting and family therapists can provide invaluable guidance during divorce, unfortunately not everyone can afford therapy on top of all the other costs associated with the divorce process. This is where Sesame Street comes in. 

Sesame Street understands how to talk to kids, even about the tough stuff. Little Children, Big Challenges is a series of online resources Sesame Street has created to help parents talk to their kids about some of life's biggest challenges.  Little People, Big Challenges: Divorce offers a host of resources for divorcing parents: an e-book to read aloud to your kids,  simple downloadable tips for you and your extended family, and activities like a divorce coloring book. There are even a series of videos kids can watch incorporating songs about divorce. 

As Sesame Street emphasizes, kids want to know that they are loved by both parents, that divorce is not their fault, and that they'll still have a family after divorce. 

Family Centered Law & Mediation is curating a list of resources for parents guiding their family through the divorce process, which will be featured HERE. 

The Divorce Selfie

If you want to have your mind blown this morning, look up this hashtag on Instagram: #DivorceSelfie

“We’re not celebrating the fact that our marriage didn’t work,” the St. Paul, Minn., native says. “We’re more celebrating the fact that we did the right thing and we were able to get through it without causing a lot of animosity.” (NY Post)

The divorce selfie may seem strange, but it's also a positive sign of a cultural shift surrounding divorce. Divorce doesn't have to end in bitterness, anger and betrayal - depending on how you approach it.

“If people are going to see the picture and think, ‘Oh, maybe I don’t have to hate my ex-husband,’ I think that’s just for the better,” she says. (NY Post)

Peace Begins At Home

This video of a 6 year old girl is going viral for good reasons. After witnessing an argument over a shoe rack between her divorced parents this mini-mediator sat her mother down for a talk:

"Are you ready to be his friend? ...

Just try your best. ...

I just want everything to be settled, nothing else.

I just want everything to be as good as possible, nothing else."

6 Year Old Gives Mom a Wake Up Call

As adults, it's our responsibility to model peaceful conflict resolution for our children, and when we fail they notice. Show your children that even when you disagree you can treat your co-parent with respect and dignity. 

We all want a more peaceful world and are quick to be frustrated by wasteful posturing amongst our politicians, but global change begins in the smallest moments in our own homes.